Greenshingles

[-] Greenshingles -2 points 2 months ago™

I'm likely to get downvoted for this so ~_('/)_/~ guess I'll make a throwaway here like op. I'm actually with
darka20light here. Reaching out and trying to get closure and understand her point of view and how she's changed is
honestly one of the best things you can do.

You're cis. Even if she allegedly assaulted you, you're still the one in power here. There's a power imbalance that's
been here since she decided to come out as trans. She doesn't have power over you anymore. You're actually in a
position to do greater harm to her than she ever was to you.

Yeah, people disrespect victims of assault a lot, but with movements like metoo it's a lot less now. Trans women on
the other hand are still treated like shit by most of the population and victims of hate crimes. When was the last time
(in western society) you saw a sexual assault victim being subjected to the same kind of treatment and hatred trans
folks go through daily for just existing in a public space while trans?

1 guess my biggest point here is... You go through sexual assault once. Then you can get therapy and get over it and
move on with life. You don't stop going through discrimination for something that's outside your control like being
trans.

It can sometimes be hard for cis people to understand what trans people go through. We don't just suddenly decide to
be trans one day. It's likely this girl was struggling with her gender identity when you knew her.

If you called yourself a lesbian, but rejected her, it probably made her feel less than great because it reaffirmed her
own doubts about her femininity, and you're continuing to do just that. We're all young and stupid once, and with the
things LGBT youth go through, especially while having to stay closeted, due to societal pressure, everyone can make
mistakes sometimes.

Not excusing assault (however fishy this story seems) but if you talk it over with her you'd probably get to hear her
side of the story and it might help you in understanding. She probably didn't mean to actually hurt you.

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